Saturday, 17 October 2009

Today I am having something of a question of my commitment....

Do you ever have one of those days when you start to question your own motives, your own decisions and wonder if the path you have chosen to follow is really the one that you really should ?

Today is one of those days, but I can't really explain why.

This morning I got an email from a fella called Paul who was one of the journalists who helped to spread the story of Shirley's fight to save Anthony in the early 1970's, and who it appears was one of the "connections" in the story that formed the basis for the success of the establishment of the Anthony Nolan Trust.So why am I so downbeat today? Surely i would be feeling rather chuffed at the fact that I have established (by pure chance through a call I made to the office of the Thanet Extra newspaper yesterday) another connection, another piece of the jigsaw that forms the story of how an ordinary mother did such an extraordinary thing as establishing the worlds first bone marrow register.

I am feeling rather alone in my search to be honest, and even though I have spoken to many helpful people along the route of my journey...i still look back and see only one set of footprints on this road......

Perhaps tomorrow I will feel better,perhaps tomorrow another bit of the puzzle will fall into place, but to be honest I can't help but feel that there must be a crucial piece that i am missing, a connection that i have not found that holds the key to establishing the copyright holders details...but what then? What if they refuse to allow a reprint? What if they won't allow the story to be told on the screen? And if they do allow use of the copyright how would it be funded? Who would stump up £50-£60'000 (figures based on a conversation yesterday with a film company) to fund production?

God help me I am starting to doubt my own commitment....but It breaks my heart to think that this amazing and inspirational story would never be shared with so many more people in this weary world through the most powerful media's known to man.....Television and film.

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